Infinite

Just a word to define what you are looking for in your life - said the psychotherapist.

A wave of ideas exploded in my mind, they were about my career, about love, about friends, about being successful, family, sex, happiness and others, but just one word? i could describe my intentions in five or ten minutes, i could even talk to him for hours but he wanted just one word.

I remembered lots of conversations with different people. Sometimes i wasn't able to explain my thoughts, of course they were clear in there, it was that when they tried to leave my brain, the words ran out of my mouth and i spoke slower and stuttered, and it frustrated me.

I often wanted to talk about pleasure, hedonism would be the word to choose, but it wasn't the end, i think we all find pleasure because that takes yo to happiness... uhm... not always, sometimes pleasure stays that way, no, it wasn't my word.

Knowledge, it could be a good word, but although i get excited when i get this, it's not necessary to learn something new every day, an example: i can listen to the same music an entire month, songs or singer's name can be repeated and i don't get interested to know something else of them, so knowledge wasn't the word.

Friendship, a powerful meaning related to that word, or better said, too much words related to that word such as support, as having fun, as someone to follow, as peace, as being together; but it takes you to feel fine, and that to feel happy. Happy would be the perfect word, i have been finding it since i realized it felt great, but instead of say that, i wondered what was the reason to be happy...

Five minutes later i answered:

- Why
- Is this a question?
- No, this is the answer

Silence.

Why. I am always trying to understand the reasons of all i do, why do i choose? why do i learn? why do i love? and even when i find something, it changes so fast, so the only possible word to define my purpose is to find a reason, i know that's ironic but it is the truth. It's like the number 8, it never ends.